Saturday, September 29, 2007

Herpes Simplex Information

OT SC A Question

I watch too much TV, maybe hear too many sad songs, I do not know. But here is a shortcut, so maybe a few of my own memories are verflochen who can already say exactly ... the many rainy weather has a strange effect on me.

A question

You open your mouth without realizing it you hurt me. You throw me things on the head, that I can handle not, which I have nothing opposed to. I do not know if you list my silence as a victory for you if you know just how much your words really hurt me. It should not matter to me, maybe I should be so hurtful and often I break my head if I'm not. Am I the reason you're always so offensive to me? Why do you act the way it is, how you do it? Is it my own doing, what challenges you on this? I give my last end themselves to blame, find the error in me, which may not even exist. Suffer as a wounded animal and wonder what I did just wrong. What can I do so everything changes, what can I say that everything is the same? What can I do that you do not by any act, feel assaulted by every word? has

of your question then I am surprised you have never received an answer, you keep me from it? Is that the reason that now lie between us worlds where we do have once challenged a common path? Never again, this was an issue between us, for a time all went well, we met, we laughed and had fun together, why has this changed? Have I changed? Have you changed? Or we both changed so much that we face no longer with us can, without fighting us? Where is this sympathetic silence, the mutual silence, which has made our friendship so special? I do not know, she seems to have gone on the road of life lost. I'll go out of their way not respond to your calls, am no longer where you are and yet I can not do it, you go out of their way. What I did back then liked about you makes me sad now, excites me, makes me angry. Your selfishness, your stubbornness to accept your incompetence different opinion and to understand se, your violent manner, if something does not fit you. I know why I can not bear it, because you understand I do not accept, not my opinion, go a step towards me, if I ask you for something, go back honest, hurts me.

And then I let myself back on you, I do not know why. I think you're back from the person earlier that made me laugh, who has understood me, who agree with me was, but then again you do something stupid. Hurt me with words, makes me doubt myself, bring me cry. And why? I do not know and I also do not have the energy to think about it. Go call me out of the way, I no longer, meet up with me no more, get out from my life, and finally go back to me on a step. I stretched out my arms, you served my hands but you've knocked it. Do not tell me I should not have tried to give not blame me, I know better now. And yet I always fall in on you, let me re-injured and sink into self pity. How many times have I made up my mind to stop responding to your words, to ignore you, not for you to respond, but I can not. If you knew me, and like you're so convinced, then you had to know that I can not do that.

You wanted an answer to a question. To a simple question but would not be able to severe. You shall have your answer. You shall know that you were to me an expensive friend, should know that you meant a lot to me. But no, everything is not there, we are not nearly as similar as we thought and the common ground that we had are now gone. You set a question on which you've got silence for an answer to this question because I was not prepared. Words have never been my strong point. But today, after you hurt me again crying again have brought, you shall have your answer.

I do not love you ...



Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Outside Large Directional Tv Antenna

OT songfic Pale

So, something sadder to me of a song fiction into a song by Within Temptation. I hope you like it.

Pale

Salty tears make their way down my cheeks to fall silent at the end of the cold tiles. I try to be clear what happened. Why do I cry and why the world is so cruel to me. But soon I realize that it is not in the world, it's up to me. My mind plays tricks on me, he makes me believe things that are not real. Or maybe I'm wrong again? I let myself be seduced by the shadowy doubt? False sense of security was there, where I cradled me, trust I gave to those who donated it in my opinion deserved consolation and I to those who needed it. I opened my heart and gave all my strength to help others. I saw the world differently than I do now. I never believed I could be wrong, that it was so different than I perceived. And the more painful the truth I was aware of. But it's the way it is now time, I was wrong and got me blinded and leave now I'm lying on the ground. Whole body was trembling, icy cold around me, black night enveloped me and I see no way anymore. Hard hit by the reality and their cruelty. Can not say what it was what ultimately made me so severely injured, what was so cruel to me. Only one thing is now I realize, not the world has changed. I see things more clearly now as they are. No longer the golden veil that leaves only the good things these things. I can not continue as before, because I will break it, so I have to stand up stronger and try to live. Which I am aware, but can I just let what happened behind me? Can I forget?

The world seems not the same, though
I know nothing has changed.
It's all my state of mind,
I can `t leave it all behind.
I have stood up to be stronger.

I feel broke inside. Empty and cold now where there was once confidence and love. And yet, I urge to get up. I know it will be worth the struggle is not only that the world consists of the things I see at the moment. A dark veil of clouds my sight, but can to guess what lies behind it. I have already seen the light. The pain I feel right now will fade with time, a faint knocking remains perhaps that will remind me of that time. But I want the pain goes, I want that memory remains? Is my will is strong enough to support life? Am I able to gather the strength that I need to be able to smile again? It occurs to me at the moment are hard to understand that every second is precious, that the good things in life outweigh the bad. I know I need to simply trust that everything will be better. But my confidence was not betrayed many times already? Were not a well-intentioned words turned around in the mouth? Did you not tell often enough and sold? How can we still trust? How is one in a dark moment faith in something can? Something that is beautiful? I was trying, I will rise up and gather new strength, but it will succeed me in the end?

Have to fight, cause I know
in the end it's worthwhile
that the pain that I feel slowly fades away.
It will be alright. I know, should realize
time is precious, it is worth while.
Despite how I feel inside, I have to trust it will be alright.
Have to stand up to be stronger.

I have given me trouble, but I fought and I have the feeling that they have lost. For too long the darkness has been going to black was the night to find me around the track. I was too weak and I stand by it. I can drive myself and hoped that someday everything will be all right, so that everything will return as it once was. Was hoping that the darkness dissolves by chance that the pointer turns back, that was all a bad dream. But I had to learn that there is no going back. A step forward meant so much that it is not in this one moment can understand. The memories remain of past days that I know now, sadly, the missing, what you knew not to appreciate it. But now it's too late. I can not go back to live can not breathe no more. The pain runs dry, I submit myself to my fate, give myself to the darkness, I am tired to fight, because I'm not strong enough. But will just give up when I were to get my eyes the cold fog. I see something that reaffirms my heart beating. I see the reason why I've fought so far. The face of a true angel, yours! I will not give up going to live and fight ... not for me but for you, for you are my light.

Oh, this night is too long.
I have no strength to go on.
No more pain, I'm floating away.
Through the mist I see the face o
f an angel, who calls my name.
I remember you're the reason I have to stay

end

 

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Washing Boucle Sweater

NCIS SC blind love poetry FSK 18

Ein Shortcut der vielleicht mehr Fragen aufwirft, als dass er sie beantwortet. Was geschieht, wenn sie eine Person unsterblich verliebt und schwer enttäuscht wird? 

Bei diesem SC ist alleine die Fantasie relevant, ist es wirklich die Person, die man glaubt zu kennen oder habe ich nur mit meinen Gedanken gespielt? 

Blinde Liebe

 

Besessen oder auch verrückt passte am Besten auf die Beschreibung des jungen Mannes der mitten in der Nacht auf den Friedhof zwischen den gray, moss-covered grave stones crept around. His wheezing is emerging through small, transparent clouds fog in the air and his heart was beating too fast. Despite the cold, small beads of sweat formed on his forehead with the effort and his chest rose and fell in an irregular rhythm. Zealous, yet had rushed his green eyes and his gaze wandered through the darkness in search of just one goal. The blood that clung to the hands does not bother him, silently dripped to the ground, but it was not his own. Victims would have it be brought and the corpse of the young man behind a bush was at the entrance of the cemetery with his throat cut, was been such a victim.

The young night watchman just stood in the way and was an obstacle which could not tolerate it. Without hesitation, he had been sneaking up on him, shut the mouth and dragged back into the darkness. The man had tried to defend himself, his gun to get close or to scream, but it was useless. Always solid, the unknown had closed his mouth and nose with his hand and when his victim was not quite conscious, he had pulled out of the holder at his side, his hunting knife and slowly cut the throat of the night watchman. The warm blood flowing from the deep wound like a river that overflows its banks. The red, hot Liquid ran only on the arms of his murderer, and finally to his jacket. The material sucked greedily on the fluid, and when the Unknown the guard quietly put on the floor, also called the moist earth takes its toll. The jacket and the circulating down were not fast enough, and so the blood leaked freely into the soil. The stranger had not disturbed, he had moved and had not thrown a view to go back.

With quick steps, he finally reached his goal and fell in front of a grave stone on the knee, at first glance not very different from the others. But for him, the gray stone something special, unique. He gently stroked his hand over and ran his finger the thin, curved letters along. The blood trail he left behind on the cold stone, he noticed not at all. Instead, his body is flooded with a warmth and for the first time in a long time he felt alive again. How he had missed her, her bright blue eyes, her short, blond hair, full red lips, and above all sensual. Everything about her was perfect, her skin smelling of jasmine and was as soft as a young leaf of a just bloomed rose. Their movements were so gentle and had the feeling that they would float when they are at had observed go.

it had managed to tame it, capture the wild, truly, and he'd like to have it done with it. He was their fall with skin and hair would have given up everything for her if she would have asked of him. Even his friends and colleagues had barely recognized him and had them change occurred scary, but had quickly used to it, even if they are missing the old me. That was more than he was only matter, everything was not indifferent to him, only her.

But then it happened, she had made the only mistake they had repented bitterly. He was much earlier come from work and wanted to surprise her with a bouquet of flowers when he's passionate moans of two lovers had heard from the bedroom. He had had nothing to say, was sneaked out of the apartment and was waiting for. He could wait and watch, because that was part of his job. After two hours, finally, a tanned man left the house with a big smile. The young man followed him, the service revolver he had already unlocked. The stranger had happily with his girlfriend, it seemed to him now whether he was a federal agent or not. Love could really make a man blind, and bring to the mind.

As the tanned man eventually turned into a narrow side street, the agent saw his chance. He was discreet and made sure no one was near. "Excuse me," he cried, and the stranger made another mistake in his life, because he turned around. A broad, joyful smile was in his face, but when he saw the man who had caught up with him now, this disappeared immediately. He knew the person who stood facing him, often he had seen the pictures in the apartment of the woman from whom he had just come. But not the fact disturbed him that he had met her boyfriend, but the reason for his horror that his smile now had sold, was the weapon that was pointed at his chest. He wanted to say something, but this he did not come. A shot broke the silence that prevailed in the alley and hit the man went to the ground. With wide eyes he stared at his opponent, pressed his hands on the heavily bleeding wound on his chest. But he could not stop the red, sticky liquid. They oozed between his fingers and dripped onto the floor. A metallic taste also spread into his mouth. A thin trickle of blood ran from his mouth, he tried desperately to breathe, but it was not him. A desperate death rattle sounded in his throat and then he toppled forward. the last time tried the man to breathe, but he was no longer possible. With wide-open eyes in which stood stunned, his soul left the world.

The young man who had fired the shot only looked at the stranger down. His eyes were cold and his heart. All his hopes and dreams were destroyed within minutes by this to him unknown. Without showing a spark of pity, he finally put down his weapon and left - taking care that he has not seen - the alley. He had something else to do, fast and painless, it should be. Even if she had betrayed him, he loved her still. Although the man was dead, with whom she had let himself in, with whom she had betrayed him, he had to make sure that this is not repeated again. Not again, he wanted to experience what he went through at the moment. He hurried back to his apartment, where they would be safe again busy with everyday things. He unlocked the door and entered.

"Hello darling, even at home?", It urged cheerfully from the kitchen, but the agent was not lost on the surprised tone. This only strengthened his resolve to do what he was doing. She had betrayed him and hurt that he just could not Allow. He had a Line must be drawn and prevent that it would happen a second time.

"Hey darling," he greeted her and kissed her neck. She let her head fall back and leaned against him. "Come with me, I have a surprise," he said, lifted the petite woman and carried her into the bedroom. He gently placed it on the edge of top bed and handed her a pad and pen. They just looked at him quizzically.

"I'll tell you something you have to write down for me," he began. Nothing bad was suspecting it to the pen and began writing down his words, but after the first words she realized what it was. Startled, she looked up and looked directly into the barrel of his gun. For much she was in shock, that she could scream or to cry with. Instead, she followed his gentle command only episode and continued to silence. Finally, she signed and put his pen aside.

"What are you doing?" Her voice was no more than a whisper. She knew what would happen, she had just written their own suicide note. She had written on the sheet that she had only her lover and then killed themselves because they disagree with that debt could live longer.

"A silly question," he said, and only cold pressed her gun in his hand. Firmly he grasped their hands, so that any attempt to fight back was totally useless. He carried the gun to her head slowly and put his fingers on hers, which was in turn based on the trigger. Well formed but tears in her blue eyes and the happy rays had always been in it was gone. But even that did not care. When the run finally touched her delicate skin, he pressed them off or better. The bang was somewhat subdued and was not nearly as loud as the one in the alley. Buy any more life out of her body and he let her go.

She fell backwards. Their lifeless eyes staring at the once-white ceiling. Blood splashes and residues in their brain now stuck in it. Slowly but steadily the warm blood from the large wound was on her mind. Never again would they laugh, happy dance around and sing a song and never again, they would deceive him. Without wasting a look at them, he placed the farewell note in the kitchen to the table and left the apartment again.

The following weeks were without it been hard for him. All believed that they had killed himself with his own gun as he quickly wanted to buy. There plenty of it not difficult to mimic the sorrowful and sad bereaved, for he mourned indeed. He had lost the love of his life. He had her blind trust and put his life in her hands and she had just crumpled up and thrown away. But he gave her in the end not to blame, but the other man he had seduced.

Every day he visited her grave and came only to a conclusion. Now, as he knelt in the middle of the night before her grave stone, he was finally ready to do the last step. He did not care what people would think of him, he just wanted to be back with her. She waited for him certainly, her dreams and he did not want to wait any longer. He had at the moment no service weapon because it was made safe and the psychologist had advised them to give him in his moment of constitutional a weapon . This fool - he did not but that he could stay this way? A knife was a deadly weapon and that he was now in order to put an end to his life. The same gun with which he had killed the night watchman. For a moment he looked at his wrist in the pale moonlight, the dark core could be correctly identified. Without hesitation, he rammed the downright Tip of the knife into the skin and drew the blade slowly upward. It burned like fire, but he enjoyed the pain. Warm blood gushed out, it really flowed along the arm and dripped onto the floor. To be absolutely sure that he was dying, he repeated it with a trembling hand on the right. He felt like he was getting weaker as the cold drove slowly into his body and his mind from drifting. But he felt more than comfortable. Soon he would be with his lover, and all pain, both physically and mentally, would be forgotten. He noted that it took a little longer than expected, but the night watchman was dead, so no one would come to save him to do. Finally, his body was still so weak that he was much ahead. The hand that had lain on the cold stone slid down and left a bloody trail. Blood Steeped

finally was this ground, as the young man who was blind with love, breathed his last had done. Whether he had seen his true love ever again, one would never know.


end